This may be one of the heaviest images for me. The black straps represent the belt and beatings.
As I accepted the previous image I knew that I had transformed something within myself that I had enjoyed a lot. And that was the way I had liked to be treated in intimate situations. My preferences were the result of my unhealed trauma, how for me there was a strong bond between pain and love. If they hurt me, they really loved me a lot. That was desire, passion. Only now I learned that it had been a trauma bond with someone who had learned the same “love language” from their caretakers and therefore developed kinks and preferences in adulthood that rooted in the understanding that love and pain go together. I try to desperately grab the arm of the snake that is already disappearing, looking away and transforming into a tap that provides water instead. So maybe the future holds connections for me that provide water, nourishment, someone that helps to grow through love and not pain. Symbolically water is also connected with emotions.
Uku reveal
